Living off tips is dis-empowering. Mine is a slightly different angle on being a server. Chefs can be daunting, egotistical people who know they can make or break your ability to serve efficiently and well. At more than one restaurant I was cornered by a chef in the refrigerator or pantry, and when I didn’t cooperate with Chef’s advances, my orders ended up UNDER the range, late or over/undercooked, and it cost me in lower tips or none at all. I eventually decided waiting tables was not for me, because I wasn’t willing to accept that abuse. It was many years ago, and I hope kitchen hierarchy has changed, but I would not be surprised to find out it hasn’t.